Today I did something that has truly scared me. I was hanging out with some friends after my afternoon class as college and we were joking around. The cycle of joking with people fell upon me so naturally I was the butt of the jokes for a short time. After a couple minutes, I started to feel something I have never felt before: Rage. I laid a hand on the girl I like, resting it on her shoulder and giving her a death like glare while telling her to stop with the jokes. And why was I infuriated over a couple of jokes?

I guess it goes deeper then that, my weekend wasn't the best. I failed my PT test for the Army and was relieved from being the Guide On for my unit as the result. I also was witness to a friend of mine, whom I did date for a while but was dumped, get into a relationship with a girl before my drill weekend, making me feel a bit down about myself in the relationship/dating area. I'm slightly pissed with my mother but nothing that can't be fixed. This all happened in the span of four days.

I feel afraid of myself right now, I'm glad I didn't do more then resting my hand on her shoulder, but to snap like that in a period of four days? There has to be a bigger reason then that. I think I've been really stressed out recently, but it still haunts me that I could snap like that again and it might be worse.